Going through a divorce is almost always stressful, but the one thing that can provide some comfort is being able to stay in your marital home, rather than having to move and look for a new place.
While you might not have to worry about where to live, it can be difficult to stay under the same roof you shared with your former spouse while keeping everything the same. You might have a hard time looking past the memories you created there – good and bad.
Thankfully, there are things you can do to reinvent your home after a divorce and make it feel more like your own. Your home should feel like your own personal sanctuary — a safe place you can turn to for comfort and peace. With a few adjustments and simple renovations, you can reinvent your home, making it your “happy place” for the future without dwelling on the memories of the past.
Let’s cover a few helpful tips that can get you started on your happy home.
Clearing Out Clutter
One of the best ways to start making your home feel more like your personal safe haven is to get rid of things you no longer want or need. Chances are, when your ex moved out, they took their personal belongings with them. They might have even taken some of your “joint” items. But, you can make things more cathartic and take them one step further by clearing out any extra items you don’t want, or items that remind you of your marriage.
The easiest place to start is in your closet.
You’ll likely see plenty of clothes you want to keep, but you may also get distracted from all of the clothes that are out of season. In addition to clearing out excess clutter, this is the perfect time to get organized. Store out-of-season clothing in air-tight and water-tight bins. Put them under the bed, on high shelves, or in a trunk or chest until the right season rolls around, and be sure to repair and clean any damaged clothing before putting it away.
For the things you don’t want to keep, you have several options, including:
Donating to a thrift store;
Donating to a homeless shelter;
Hosting a yard sale;
Selling online.
It can feel good to get rid of things you didn’t realize were weighing you down and to get organized when things feel chaotic. Take the time to sweep through your house and decide what to keep, and what you might feel better about getting rid of.
Making Things New
Once you’ve decluttered and gotten things organized, consider reinventing specific items in your house. It’s a great way to hang onto things you love without living with the constant reminder of your former spouse or the life you shared.
For example, if you have pieces of furniture that you’ve always loved but you can’t look at them the same way, consider painting them a different color or reupholstering them to fit your sense of style and personality.
Alternatively, you could give them an entirely different purpose. Do you have an old dresser in the master bedroom? Bring it into the living room to use as an entertainment center. Did your spouse often use the nightstand to keep their phone, wallet, and watch? Turn it into a desk or an entry table and freshen it up with a coat of paint.
By reinventing different items you already have and mixing them in with fresh decor, you can actually reinvent yourself and your home all at once. Doing so creates a warm, inviting, and comfortable environment that can make you feel safe and can provide stability for you and your children, if they’re living with you.
Redesigning on a Budget
There’s no denying that divorce is expensive.
Even if things end amicably, you’ll likely end up paying for an attorney. You might also have to pay spousal support or child support, and you could be going from a two-person income to a single income immediately. There are things you can do to financially recover, including creating a new budget and building your credit, but that can take time.
With that in mind, extreme home renovations might not be in your budget right away. However, there are plenty of DIY home renovations you can tackle, even when you’re on a tight budget. Start small and simple with things like:
Repainting doors and cabinets
Changing light fixtures
Updating your kitchen backsplash
Painting the walls (now is the time to go with those colors your spouse never liked!)
Getting new window treatments
Even when it comes to decorating, you can liven up your home and show off your personality without breaking the bank. Hang floating shelves, install unique or mismatched wall hooks, or simply rearrange your existing furniture and decor to create a different layout. There are even design aesthetics that you can choose from that can be easily achieved with thrifted goods.
At the end of the day, your home can end up looking completely different with just a few small changes. There’s no reason why you can’t start to think of it as your own, and the sooner you make those changes, the sooner those negative memories of your marriage will start to fade, so you can enjoy your home sanctuary for many years to come.
